Va-va-va-viva, la!

Found this through the blog of Koko's Ghost. Too hot to resist.

I have seen fear, and it is teaching middle school

I can confidently say that today was my craziest subbing day to record. The kind of day that makes one think, "You know, maybe ideas in Battle Royale aren't so 'deplorable' as they seem at first." In fact, my day ended up with me prematurely dismissing the class by throwing them out into the hall to break up a three-person fight. I hope none of the kids go home with hand print-shaped bruises on their arms from me hauling the scrappers off each other.
I spent the afternoon in a sixth-grade class without any lesson plans (which might not have done any good anyhow) and without any support from the meager staff in the building. It started when I walked them to their third floor classroom and found the door locked. These kids couldn't stand still for a second, let alone wait patiently in a line while we waited for the key to arrive. As a matter of fact, there was wrestling, acrobatics, screaming (certainly), play fighting, not-so-play fighting, and swearing among other things. Total bedlam.
I finally got them into the room, thinking that an enclosed environment might calm them down a bit and let me get some control. Far from it, now that they were out of the ear and eyeshot of teachers who know their names and wield more than imaginary power, they seemed to truly blossom into the conniving, manipulative, aggressive, ill-mannered, foul-mouthed little angels that I would be on my own with for the next three hours.
I found myself using their (legitimate or contrived) requests to use the bathroom as a bargaining chip in getting them to cool their jets.
"If anyone needs to use the restroom I am looking for quiet students with raised hands sitting in desks."
"Mr. H if you don't let me go I am gonna walk out of here."
"If you want to go, just follow my instructions and sit at your desk quietly with a raised hand."
"I am sitting quietly! but you're not letting me go!"
"You know what? I am going to send this other pair right now and when they get back, if you are sitting quietly we'll talk then."
"That's stupid and you are being stupid!"
"...sigh."
I never thought I would actually wish bladder discomfort on another person, but all of a sudden I found myself tempted to make dripping sounds and spill the water from my bottle.
"If you don't let my go I am going to pee in my pants!"
"Well... you'll be the one with pee in your pants."
That would break my heart if you peed in your pants in front of your friends. Just break it right in two.

If was a ridiculous and even comical day but those reactions merely camouflage what was actually a heartbreaking and up-close encounter with the disease of poverty. Everything about this school and its population bore the hallmark traits of chronic and endemic socio-economic peril. With 97% free lunch, 20.4% in reading and 12.5% in math passing state tests and a straight 20% passing basic achievement test standards. These numbers mean a lot more as soon as one steps into a classroom and watches and listens to the classroom chatter and interacts academically with the students. The girls had to bring toilet paper and hand sanatizer from the classroom because the washrooms didn't have any. There was one crotchety old security guard who came in for a minute when things were getting crazy and made the class promise to behave. This place is doomed to fail.

But I got me some good stories out of the deal.

Bienvenue

I am getting sick again. Can't believe it.
I have been covering a French class for grades 1-5 for the last week and my last time is tomorrow. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to be in the same place and do the same routine for an extended period. As an advocate for myself I have made sure to corner some of the important folks at Lincoln where I do most of my subbing and speculating about what circumstances would have to arise for me to get hired on as a permanent sub or even as a staff member for next year. We'll see.
I showed an amazing little animated film called Kirikou et la sorcière that takes place in an an African village and follows the adventures of newborn wunderkind Kirikou and his battle against a wicked sorceress. It is fun and funny with a great soundtrack and some neat images. The teacher who gave it to me warned me that I would need to scold the audience (3rd graders) into not laughing of getting too excited by the "cartoon boobies" that the topless women in the village exhibit during the film. I took it as a challenge to come up with a way to let present this information in a productive way that would draw attention away from the tittilation (ouch!) of the experience but also wouldn't shame the students into silence, but let them think about culture and human experience in a sensitive way. I wouldn't be telling the story if I hadn't come up with an awesome way, but I'll spare you the details for the moment.
A bientot

Adventure Time

While Kelly was in town, we took a little excursion to the legendary record store, Dusty Groove America. Watch a documentation of our adventure here.

Front Line Reporting

Spent Friday as a music teacher. Made some rhythm compositions with the older kids. Gave the sixth graders drums and rhythm sticks. Might as well have given them PCP and bullhorns, they were that noisy and wild. I guess it is kind of silly. "I am going to pass out noisemakers, but nobody make any noise with them." It turned out to be the most interesting class of the day, watching them really try to listen to the rhythms on I created and play their little hearts out trying to mimic my clapping.
The Kindergarteners got to watch a video on music and sound including a portion on the 30 something lady who conducted the Philadelphia symphony at the time. Upon seeing her at the front of the orchestra (in close-up) one little girl yelled out in a completely matter of fact tome, "that's a man! Dressed up like a lady!" It was like a half-pint Mystery Science Theater with me as the only audience member. About halfway through, during a particularly grooving musical interlude, on little boy in the middle turned and made eye contact with me and without breaking his gaze, slowly got to his feet and started dancing like a maniac. Soon the whole class was on their feet going wild and occasionally glancing over at me to see if I was going to put the kibosh on their impromptu discotheque. I sat back grinning and enjoyed the show.
Now I am a French teacher for the next week.

Side note... One day I returned to my 8th grade IB science classroom to find that someone had changed my name on the white board from "Mr. Harkness" to "Mr. Lockness." I was stunned. All I could think to say was, "I am really disappointed with this group." I stormed over to the board, grabbed and eraser and pen and switched it promptly to "Mr Loch Ness." I can't believe kids these days.

I'm a horrible blogger. I'm the first to admit it.

Lots of things happened.
Winter Break

• Portland

1. Karaoke
2. New Years Eve Party
3. Bikes
4. Dr. Mario
5. Lots of friends
6. 2X Breakfast

• Seattle

1. Family
2. "Family" reunion
3. Hot Tub
4. Giftmas
5. More bikes

• Bellingham

1. Megan's family
2. Frisbee/Dog
3. Nice walk
4. Use scarf like sling/throw it into ocean

• Chicago

1. More fun
2. Bikes redux
3. Kelly Visits
• Field Museum
• I am 28 and bowling
• TJ and Dave
• the Art Institute
• Downtown
• the Museum of Contemporary Art
  

That's about it for now